Getting what you really want

There is no doubt in my mind that there is immense power in visualising what you want to happen in your life. When I first heard about the concept that you can actually create your own reality, I thought it was a nice idea and thought “Wouldn’t it be nice if that were true?” However, I never really thought it would work and whenever I tried to use any of the techniques for visualising what I wanted, I would think it was nice to picture but it probably wouldn’t do any good. I mean, how could a simple action like picturing something in my mind lead to actual physical, cosmic and concrete changes in my everyday reality? How could I just picture what I wanted and then make it appear in reality? We don’t live in a world where “magic” is real! Do we?

One might say that what we call “magic” could actually be a process of creation that we do not understand, and that once we do understand that process of creation it becomes nothing more than an everyday reality in our lives, which we accept without questioning. If you brought somebody out of the 1700s and showed them an airplane flying through the sky they would no doubt gasp and gawk in disbelief and then turn to calling it “magic” because they would have no way of understanding how the process of flight works. They would have no understanding of the laws of aerodynamics that allow a huge hunk of incredibly heavy machinery to fly through the air as if it weighed nothing more than a feather! But the laws operate independent of our knowledge of them. I believe that there are spiritual laws that operate in our universe in much the same way that we have physical laws. Some laws work for you whether you know about them or not, such as the law of gravity. Other laws you need to understand and use in the correct way for them to work to your advantage and for you to achieve your desired outcome. The laws of visualization and manifestation of what you would like to see happen in your life are part of those unseen laws that you can learn to work with as you begin to understand them better.

After a while of using these techniques, and admittedly, even then I really did very little to try to really picture what I wanted, I started to notice things happening. As an example, when I was still studying towards my degree at university, my first car was a little red Mini. As cute as it was to drive, I really didn’t feel very good driving it through the campus parking lot and seeing how many other students were driving cars better than mine (which wasn’t hard to achieve). Besides the issue of the status that I was so worried about at the age of 19, the car also gave me endless trouble. The driver’s door was hanging onto its hinges for dear life and I was often worried I would be driving along on the highway and suddenly feel a gust of wind rush through the car as the door fell clean off onto the concrete highway! The car often had oil and brake problems (among countless others) and so, admittedly, I really didn’t want the car anymore. The problem was, I was still a 19-year-old student with practically no money and my parents weren’t in a financial state to be able to do anything about getting me a better car. I really wanted  something else but just didn’t see how it would ever happen.

One day as I was driving the car to university I felt so despondent about the situation, I wanted to scream but instead I surprised myself by saying out loud that I accept the situation as it is. I said to myself that I understood that it was just the way things had to be for now but that things would soon change. I would get another car and feel a lot better about going to pick up a girl for a date in my new car rather than my Mini (which for all intents and purposes could have been a bicycle in my eyes when it came to picking up women for dates).

Once I had accepted the current situation, I decided that I would make a concerted effort to try to visualise what I wanted. I thought that I actually had nothing to lose by spending a few minutes each day picturing what it would be like to be driving a different car and what that car would look like.

I started to get specific and eventually came to focus my attention on the VW Citi Golf. Every time I saw one, especially a blue one, on the road I would look at it and record the picture of it in my mind. I started to imagine what it would feel like to be behind the wheel of the car, the black leather seats, and the dashboard at night. I imagined how I would feel driving the car through the campus parking lot.

After about a month of doing this, I got a call from a friend of mine who was working for his uncle’s used car lot. He told me that he had just got in a blue Citi Golf with black leather seats and that he was thinking of buying it for himself.

I immediately told him I wanted to see the car. I had never told him that I even wanted a car, never mind that I was looking for a blue Citi Golf. I didn’t even know how I could ever possibly buy the car, but I wanted to see it. So he took the car home that evening and drove past our house so that I could have a look at it. My father came out with me to see the car and liked it too. As soon as I saw the car come down the driveway of our house I knew this car would be mine. I had willed it and imagined it into my life. Needless to say, things sort of fell into place after that. We sold my Mini to a guy who worked for my father and my father sold his old motorbike and we got the blue Citi Golf. I was absolutely exhilarated and amazed at what had happened. I remember driving around in my Citi Golf feeling like a “new” man.

Even after that I didn’t really take visualization seriously. I thought: “I suppose it’s possible but it’s more likely that this was a coincidence and it might have happened on its own anyway.”

After the car situation, the next time I remember using creative visualization was when I wanted to move out of home and get my own apartment. When I first began to think about moving out, it was quite a stretch for me to imagine what it would be like to be on my own (or with a partner) in my own place. You can always tell how far you have to go and how much effort you need to put into visualising by the amount of resistance you feel when you try to picture what you want. The more resistance your mind gives you to what you are trying to picture or visualise, the more times you should visualise what you want until it becomes comfortable for you and easy to picture.

I remember that each time I visualised the place I was going to live in, I would add more detail to what it looked like. I imagined that it was in a complex. In South Africa, it is much safer to live in a security-guarded complex due to the number of car hijackings that occur outside people’s houses. Anyhow, the complex looked newly built, our (my imaginary future girlfriend or wife and myself) apartment was on the top-level and I imagined myself walking up a flight of stairs on the outside of the building to get to our door. I imagined what the living room and kitchen would look like. When I imagined the living room area, my mind added in a detail that I cannot consciously remember putting in myself. It was a balcony. I imagined a breeze blowing the curtains back and the feeling of the cool air on my skin. I also imagined sitting in a chair on the balcony having a glass of wine and enjoying the view. I think I visualised this place over half a dozen times. Each time with more detail. I also imagined it to be in a suburb, Dowerglen that I had always wanted to live in.

About a year later, I had just come back from a trip to London and was now looking for a place for my new fiancé and myself to live. It was a Saturday morning and my friend Alan was going to help me look through the classifieds and go and look at a few places. The first thing I noticed was an advertisement for an apartment in the area that I had imagined living in — Dowerglen. The price was in my range, which was also unusual for Dowerglen, as it is quite an expensive area to live in. I called the number and the guy on the other line said that it was still available but that I had better hurry and get over there because it would go fast. We jumped into my car and drove to the complex.

It was about two blocks away from where I had visualised living. The complex was absolutely beautiful, clean, and looked like it had been newly built. We drove around to the number he had given us. I got out the car and looked to see where number 35 was. It was at the top of a flight of outside stairs. We went up and I immediately knew I wanted it. It had a huge balcony and a view of Johannesburg that was just amazing. The sliding doors to the balcony were open and the curtains were blowing in the gentle breeze. I didn’t have much time to make up my mind, but I didn’t need to. I loved it and I told the guy I would take it.

The funny thing is, I only remembered what I had visualised about three months after we had moved in and only then did I realize how many of the details of what I had visualised had come true. I was absolutely amazed when I realised how powerful the visualization had been and that there could be no doubts that the guided imagery that I used had created this as a reality for me. I was thrilled!

What I have suggested to you about how to get things n life is not a new concept and yet very few people know about it or use it to get what they need or want. The concept that I am speaking about has been put forward by many writers and influential minds in the past in some form or another. Some have said it is a way of visualization, others have said that it is a religious certitude but the basic premise is this:

The best way to get something is to already have it.

I can almost see the smirk on your face and you’re probably thinking, “What the heck is this fool on about?” I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, I mean, if you don’t have something you can’t already have it, right? Well, let’s look at this a bit closer:

When you don’t have something and you really feel that you need or want that thing desperately and you’re not getting it, how does that make you feel? It makes you feel anxious, it upsets you and you “charge” everything around you with a negative energy of lack and need. Nine times out of ten, this attitude will tend to push what you want even farther away from you.  However, how much easier do you think it is to get something once you already have it? And by “having it,” I don’t necessarily mean having it in concrete objective reality. You can close your eyes and see yourself having something in an instant. What do you think seeing yourself already in possession of the thing you desire will do to your motivation and your feelings of confidence and faith? I’ll let you decide.

This seemingly illogical concept of already having something before you get it can be illustrated in many varied life situations. Consider the following example:

Gary is a single guy who is looking for a partner. He is very desperate to find someone and it shows every time he approaches a woman for a date. Each time he approaches a prospective partner he is anxious because he feels that all his hopes are riding on her. He thus puts a lot of pressure on himself and acts nervous and needy. His response rate is thus dismally low and as he gets rejected each time his self-esteem gets lower and lower and he starts to actualize his initial subjective feelings of lack into objective reality. Gary also starts to visualise himself failing each time he makes an attempt and that visualization starts to become his reality. He is getting himself caught in the trap of using his past failures as references for his future endeavors. What he should really be doing is picturing and visualising success no matter what, because with a positive visualization of success will come confidence, self-esteem and the actual ability to get that date!

Ray is also a single guy who is looking for a partner. His belief is that there is an abundance of women in the world. There are hundreds and thousands of women who live just in his city not to mention how many live in his country. Alan thinks that with such abundance around him, the chances of him finding a woman, or better yet a woman finding him, are pretty good. He thus approaches each prospective partner with the feeling that it is a matter of time before he finds someone and thus he believes, in his subconscious and conscious minds, that he already has what he wants. He thus feels confident and radiates that confidence outwards. He can actually see himself being successful. He can see himself enjoying going out with a woman, having fun and sharing intimate moments. The women that he dates can sense that he is not desperate and that intrigues them, so they feel more attracted to him. Nobody is attracted to desperation, most everybody is attracted to confidence and a good self-esteem and so Alan soon finds that he has what he already believed he possessed. His visualization has become his reality.

The same concept works when one is looking for a job. It is always easier to find a job when one is already in one. If you aren’t happy in your current position and you feel like you need a change for the better, you are in a win-win situation in terms of improving your life. This is because you already have the security of having an income and a job to go to each day but at the same time you are free to keep your options open and look out for a better job. Without a feeling of desperation that one would feel when unemployed, your chances are much improved in an interview because the employer will sense that you are not desperate for the job and this will be intriguing.

I am not saying that this only works for those who are employed. As I described earlier, you don’t necessarily have to have the thing you want in objective reality. If you can impose on your mind a picture of yourself already in a position, even if you are unemployed temporarily, the chances are that you will conduct yourself far better and with much less anxiety in a job interview. Act as if you are employed, and I assure you that your chances of becoming employed will increase accordingly!

This process of visualising what you want is also linked to a universal law or truth that we bring to ourselves: what we believe we can have. Through the process of visualization and imprinting on the subconscious mind a picture or an intention of what we want, we are making ourselves clear to the universe and the universe will respond to us. Once again we need to be aware of what we are doing, because we can just as easily attract negative events, people, and experiences into our lives if that is what we choose to focus on. Just as your subconscious mind will listen to what you tell it is true, the universe will bring to you what you continuously focus on and picture in your mind. If you do a survey of some of the most successful people in the world who have achieved amazing results in their lives, you will find that they have all used the process of visualising what they want in one form or another. I could name Jim Carrey, Steven Spielberg, and Oprah Winfrey just to start.

I highly recommend you look into the amazingly powerful process of visualization. It really cannot do you any harm if you picture positive and successful outcomes for your life. If you link your visualizations to a higher cause of helping others, even better!

If you think about it, everything you see around you right now, besides nature itself, is man-made and had to have its beginning in someone’s mind. Someone had to visualise what that chair was going to look like that you are now sitting on. Someone had to imagine a device that could cool down food and invented the fridge – but first it would have been a thought in their mind and a picture in their mind’s eye about what they wanted to achieve! From the tallest skyscrapers to the little kennel your dog sleeps in, they all had to be imagined and thought of by someone before they came into being. That same power of thought, imagination and creation is available to all of us and is not the province of only a select few. This means that you can create anything you want in your life because you have the ability to think, imagine, visualise, and take action. And if you do these things consistently and with enough commitment, you are going to achieve your goal and create whatever you want in your life.

When you first start to visualise you may find that your mind tries to resist what you are trying to picture. If you find this happening that is a good sign that you need to intensify the amount of time you are spending visualising what you want, because your subconscious mind is resisting that image. This may be because deep down you don’t feel you can have it or you may feel you are not good enough or smart enough to get there and achieve what you want. You need to impress upon your mind that you can and will have the things you are picturing and the more you picture it, the easier you will find it becomes and each time you will find yourself adding in more detail to the picture until it becomes almost a reality for you. When you are at that point, you are getting very close to creating what you want. If you keep at it, you will see that it will happen for you just as you have imagined it.

Your mind gives you the ability to visualise and see a better, more successful and happy future for yourself. You have the choice to picture whatever you want no matter how things are going for you right now. Why not choose to see your life working the way you want? It’s a very powerful tool to change your life…use it!




Written by 

David Fox is an author, speaker and registered psychologist with a masters degree in psychology. He believes that overcoming issues like anxiety and depression are best tackled on multiple fronts such as exercise, supplements, working with your thoughts and beliefs, watching your diet and talking to someone who can provide empathy and support while you figure things out. His goal is teach people individually and within organisations in how to help themselves thrive. In addition, David supports patients who would like to eventually reduce or potentially stop taking anti-depressant medication if they are finding major negative side effects from remaining on the medications and looking for alternative routes to a better quality of life. This is not for everyone, and yes some people may need to remain on some amount of medication – especially those with bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia. However, for those whose issues began as anxiety and/or depression, there may certainly be another way to healing other than medication. David is the author of the book Change your Life! Hope and Healing for Anxiety and Depression.

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